I'm sitting in a Starbucks doing some schoolwork. I'm not at home to avoid the noise of renovation taking place on the other side of my wall. I don't expect quiet while working at Starbucks. In fact I find the general din of conversations and baristas yelling out orders comforting and quite conducive to work.
However, there are limits. I understand that most parents work full-time and therefore don't get to spend as much time with their children as they would like. On weekends, they want to spend as much time as possible with them. I get that. I don't mind you bringing your very young children and infants to Starbucks when you want a coffee. That's cool. What I do ask, is that you do not bring toys that make noise. Is it too much to ask that you consider the perspective and desires of those of us without children who don't want to be subjected to their toys making noise.
I understand the need to bring toys to keep them happy and avoid your child having a meltdown in the middle of Starbucks. Just bring their favourite stuffed toy. There is no reason to bring a toy that broadcasts across the entire cafe. I could even hear it while I was in the washroom.
So to the parents behind me who seem to be clueless to the rest of the world around then, a withering look of disapproval(tm) goes your way.
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9 comments:
YES!
Thank God I'm not alone. Add to it the parents who expect random customers to babysit/amuse their children for free at restaurants, while they sit oblivious to their wandering tot across the room.
If I wanted kids, I'd have some of my own. Take a hint people. You had them, you watch them. And try not to inflict them on everyone else in public spaces as well.
Reality check to non-parents: stuffed animals do not keep children entertained for very long anywhere. They're useless.
I totally agree about those super-noisy toys. We call them parent punishers in my house and we do not take them out of the house.
But here's a thought: parents cannot totally control their kids all the time. Kids are not mini-mes or fashionable accessories. They are people with their own wants and preferences. If you try to control everything they do all the time (including which toy they take out with you), you will end up with resentful, whiny, clingy kids who have to check in with you on every little decision. Imagine how annoying those kids are once they grow up and end up in the cubicle next to yours.
Finally, about the wandering kid, yeah I agree. I had them, I watch them, but a child is not an affliction on others in public. They are people and have a right to be there, too.
To be perfectly frank, I think your attitude is short-sighted, Karen. Someone has to raise the next generation. You've chosen not to. That's your choice. But my choice to have kids guarantees there will be docs and nurses to put you back together in old age, attendants to wipe you butt when you can't, people to cook your meals, etc.
So essentially, you owe your future well-being to those little afflictions and the parents raising them. Boo-hoo if you find them annoying. They're your real social security.
Sorry, getting off the soap box. The only perfect parents out there are the ones not raising kids. So please cut the rest of us some slack.
(BTW, we are very strict disciplinarians here. My kids are the ones with manners at the Starbucks. Glen can attested to some of my parenting screw-ups; I wrecked a perfectly good lunch in his honour once, and never forgot that lesson. Sorry, Glen.)
I was there. Boobs were involved. It was quite the scene.
Thanks for the comments everyone, I didn't realize this one would generate this much comment but it is great and I welcome the debate.
I'm not advocating that parents control their kids all the time, I am saying that parents should consider where they are going and what's appropriate for the surroundings.
I am the last person who wants a generation of children raised within the four walls of their home and not exposed to the world. I think it's good that parents take kids to a place like Starbucks.
Honestly, if a child wants to take a noisy toy, I think it's perfectly reasonable for a parent to say no. I understand you can't rationalize with a four year old, lord knows I've tried, but a firm no will do wonders for a kid.
My suggestion of a stuffed toy was just that, a suggestion, and not offered as a panacea. Find another creative, and less intrusive object to keep them busy or shorten the stay.
I am grateful that other people have chosen to have children. Maybe one day I will, who knows.
And Cindy, you didn't ruin the lunch. Accidents, such as throw ups happen and are perfectly reasonable. They are beyond a parent's control. My focus was really on those things a parent can control.
Hi Cin.
I am certainly not advocating that children be locked in their homes until their 18th birthdays. I used to take that sort of position, but people found it a bit harsh, and I'd like to think I've mellowed with age :)
I totally agree that children can't be controlled all the time. But the kids of strict disciplinarians such as yourself (I'll take you at your word, since we've never met) aren't the problem - it's the folks who do think of their kids as a fashionable accessory or a mini-me who drive me crazy. Will kids sometimes have meltdowns? Sure. But I know enough people with well-behaved kids to know they don't happen by accident. It takes a lot of work and dedication, as I'm sure you'd agree. Not all parents put that kind of effort into it, and those are the ones who tick me off.
As for kids having a right to be in public, of course they do, with their parents supervising them and teaching them appropriate behavior, and what is not appropriate. They don't have a right to be wandering all over God's half acre, expecting total strangers to benevolently look out for them, because their parents want some alone time and couldn't, or chose not to, get a babysitter. Not to mention the fact that in this day and age, kids really should never be out of a parent's sight, given all manner of weirdos among us - it seems like barely a day goes by without a news report of another disappearing child.
So yes, perhaps I am short-sighted at the moment, to want my enjoyment of a public place not to be trod upon by an unsupervised child. I have no doubt that when I am old and I am paying them my pension money to look after me, I will be glad they exist - as well-trained, medical professional adults. Right now, not so much.
When I left that comment, I was worried, but now I'm so glad I did! What a great conversation.
I understand your point much better now, Glen. I agree, a no is a wonderful thing. I also agree parents need to think about where they are bringing their kids. We don't let ours bring noisy toys, blocks, etc to church for the same reason -- too annoying in that environment.
Karen, thanks for the expansion on your thoughts. I may have gone down your throat a bit too much, but it is often difficult for me as a parent to feel those with little to no experience in the job are judging my performance.
Megan, yes there were boobs, but I was way more worried about the puke. Lesson learned: kids are cute, but not at a farewell business lunch for a colleague. And especially not when they puke. Sigh, failed mommy story!
I was just trying to make you laugh. It felt a bit tense, that's all. :)
But Karen, I think that some parents should be locked in their homes until their children's 18th birthdays. I'm thinking specifically of the mommy who hauled her crying children out of my son's birthday party so they could go skiing. "I DON'T WANNA SKI! I WANNA BE WITH MICHAEL! I DON'T WANNA SKI!"
I rest my case.
To be clear - responsible parents with well-behaved children, good.
Irresponsible parents with nightmare children - bad.
No worries Cin. Comments are good. But now I wish I had been at Glen's party, it sounds like it was quite something!
I'm a parent, and I'm with you, Glen. Ergo, when we go out for a family meal, it's in the Wal-mart McDonalds or Pizza Hut. I figure any adult who chooses to eat in those places can reasonably anticipate that there might be kids running around. That said, we leave the noisy toys at home.
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