Saturday, January 12

i am the hasselhoff

The little sister has a fascination with David Hasselhoff that can't be explained. Currently she is running a contest called "Being David Hasselhoff". The contest calls for creative expressions of being David Hasselhoff. I should warn you that the photos submitted so far can only be described as disturbing.

Although I don't understand the allure of the hoff, I have tried in the following to caputre the essence of being "the Hasselhoff". I must begin by offering my apologies to Scandal and Patti Smyth for reinterpreting their 80s hit "I am the Warrior". I have rewritten the song "I am the Hasselfhoff".

As a reminder, here is the original song:



Now play it again, but this time reading along (or singing along, you know you want to) with these new lyrics:

I run, run...run so slow
It's a skill...that you don’t know
Running on...my hunky thighs
I bet you're not so exercised

Well, it’s my love..that you need
A wild need like a growing weed
Break out of East Germany
And follow my career’s meteor rise
I am your man.....a star in your eyes

Chorus:
Shootin' on the sets of Baywatch, splash, splash, I am the Hasselhoff
Well I am the Hasselhoff, and heart to heart you'll win…if you survive the Hasselhoff....the Hasselhoff

You talk, talk, you talk to me
Your eyes touch me physically
Stay with me, we'll take the night
As passion takes another bite, oh

Who's the singer...with the fame?
You hear the fans...call my name
I keep them warm...in Germany
You can’t ever tame my animal style…
I won't be caged...I’m the call of the wild....

Repeat Chorus

I am the Hasselhoff

(Guitar Break – picture the Hoff’s dance moves here)

Shootin' on the sets of Baywatch (shootin' on the sets of baywatch)
The Hasselhoff.....
I am the Hasselhoff, and heart to heart you’ll win
heart to heart you’ll win...if you survive
The Hasselhoff...the Hasselhoff

shootin' on the sets of Baywatch, splash, splash, I am the Hasselhoff
yes I am the Hasselhoff and Germany is mine
(shootin' on the sets of baywatch)
The Hasselhoff...I am the Hasselhoff