what would russell do?

Every Saturday I check the Globe and Mail style section to see what Russell Smith has to say about men's style.

I've been a fan of Russell's for some time and find his style advice hits all the right notes. People may say that he's too stiff, too strict or just too much of a dandy, but I think he's providing a valuable service. Growing up men aren't taught what to wear, thier mothers dress them, then girlfriends, then wives. When in a position to dress themselves, they are often lost, me included.

I like to think I dress reasonable well, but when in doubt, I'll ask myself what would Russell do? Actually, since the brillant gift of Russell's book that I received last christmas (thanks to the yellowknife moms), I can always flip through the chapters to find out what he would do. For the record, baseball hats don't exist in Russell's world. Also, the cargo shorts, flip flops, quirky-tee, and baseball hat "boy" uniform is explicitly banned. In Russell's world, you're a man, dress like one. Oh yeah, buy an iron.

It's nice to know that as a student, Russell has granted me an exemption, but once law school's done, Russell's book and I will be going suit shopping.

people who live in glass houses...

A certain Little Miss Know-it-All has decided to move past her usual critiques of grammar and journalism and sit in judgment of my aural pleasures.

I'm certain her faithful readers will remember the outrage she expressed when a certain fashion guru (the dapper Russell Smith) moved from critiquing fashion to critiquing language. Hmmmm, maybe she should think of that before she moves into a brave new world of music selection criticism. I'm sure she'll make some comment about Russell being wrong, and therefore she had to criticize, while she is right in her concern over my musical tastes.

However, in responding to the spirited defence of my musical taste left in response on her blog, she came clean on her recently played list, and sit back, let's just say that we still have a lot of the same taste. In response, I simply say, take me to your glass home...

these eyes

I've always prided myself on my vision. I've always been the one who could see the small text far away. I never expected that I would have to get glasses. However, that's no longer the case. Law school has wrecked my vision.

Okay, it's true that I haven't had my eyes checked for eight years. Maybe its not all law school's fault. However until the words "I'm in law school" came out of my mouth, it looked like my need for glasses could have been put off for a few more years. I know that would have been postponing the inevitable, but it would have left me glasses free for a while.

My eyesight isn't that bad, however one eye is radically different from the other I have learned. It's the fact that I spend all day reading that is really driving the need. However, I should also notice an improvement when driving, less fatigue looking into the distance.

Now, I am on a quest for frames. I've blogged before of the challenges of my big head. Unfortunately it appears to be a problem for glasses as well. I trudged off to the local eyeglass shop. After trying on pair after pair that didn't fit, it came down to "show me the biggest ones you've got". A parade of ugly glasses came forth. One wasn't too bad, however I look like Drew Carey when I'm wearing them.

I want a fashionable pair, but is it possible? Kenneth Cole just doesn't make glasses big enough for me. Thankfully, the woman offered to bring in a few others on spec for me to try.

I tried the other glass shop without much more luck, but have found two frames that are in stock that may work. The question is, what look do I want to have for the next two years? I'm in school so still want something fashionable and fun, but will also be clerking with the court, so do I need something simple and professional? Gah! What would Russell Smith do? I don't have his book with me to see if he has a section on this?

These are the business/work friendly frames I found:


I can't find an image online of the other pair, but will keep looking. Maybe I'll take some snapshots of me wearing them and invite comments and suggestions!

oops, she did it again

Now calm down everybody, not to worry. This is not a Britney Spears post. You may recall I declared this blog a britney-free zone ages ago. No, the she I am referring to is Sarah Hampson. Oh yes, the columnist of the Tim Horton's relationship, and the if you're 40 with no failed marriage behind you you're doomed on the modern dating scence has struck again. How many times am I going to have to give her the withering look of disapproval(tm)?

It appears Thursdays are Ms. Hampson's days to work out her being single issues and wax pathetically, not poetically on the modern dating scene. To begin with, go read her latest column "The Rules (for Women of a Certain Age)". Go on, I know you want to, it's like a car wreck, you know you shouldn't but you can't look away.

Now, maybe Ms. Hampson is trying to be ironic and poke fun at the original authors of The Rules, but if so well she missed the mark. Given her recent set of articles this all seems quite serious.

Not happy with the "single-single" label she set for single people several weeks ago, Ms. Hampson introduces a new term, the recycled singleton. Maybe this term belongs to those in the 40 and over with a failed marriage club. The fact that you are a recycled singleton indicates that you're not "single-single", but that yes you have taken Ms. Hampson's so-called leap of faith and have a failed marriage behind you. Recycled singleton is like code, sending a signal that you haven't always been single so you're more desirable than the single-single.

So what advice did Ms. Hampson receive that she felt was so important to share with her readers, how about this golden tip "Do not embrace the muu muu." Wow, that's earth shattering, who would have known. You're like a Russell Smith for women, providing valuable fashion advice. Nice to see you're not playing into cliches and stereotypes at all Ms. Hampson.

Ms. Hampson goes on to quote a certain older gentlemen who provides this nugget about dating older women:

To meet an older woman with those attributes is like sitting in a broken-in seat in a car. New leather is slippery. But a broken-in seat, well, there's nothing more comfortable and nothing more personal.

Now, I wonder if Ms. Hampson included this to drive women out of the dating scene, because who isn't going to be turned off dating if there are men like this out there. Maybe Ms. Hampson is looking to get rid of some of her competition by keeping them out of the 'pool' all together.

Other nuggets from Ms. Hampson, lost the bitterness, dating isn't therapy and don't talk too much about your kids. Don't be a drama queen. Also, you may be a powerful, successful business women, but don't be any of those when you're dating. Are we still at this level in our society? If so, then I truly do feel sad, but I find it had to believe that Ms. Hampson's singular view of the world reflects reality.

I think it's only fair that at some point there should be The Rules: For Men of A Certain Age. In my view there's only one, men of a certain age or weight should not wear a speedo, and I think we can all agree on that.

a few simple rules...

I think Russell Smith has been too busy with his various other projects to be out and about this spring advocating the better rules of fashion. Whether it is his Globe column, his CBC radio show, or hiding from the jihad the little sister has launched against him on her blog, something has been keeping him quiet on the topic of clothing.

Whatever the reason, I have decided that he hasn't been out and about, and I offer the following guidelines for the fashionably challenged I have seen or discussed in the last few days.

First, it was scorching hot in Edmonton this weekend, where I was for the Police concert (more on this later). I understand it was the first nice weekend in spring and people would want to enjoy it. But guys, if you're skin is pasty white and you're boney, keep a shirt on. I'm willing to accept shorts, but your white pasty ribs in my face, NO.

I'm sure some of you pasty white boney people are saying "oi - how am I supposed to get dark if I can't reveal my pasty white skin". TAN IN YOUR BACKYARDS! Once you have some meat and colour on your body, come on out. Until then - keep it under wraps.

Next, for the girls - it's a night out, you want to have a good time, show off some assets. Hoochie it up a little, I understand. However, those tarty clothes don't fit anymore, put them away. Don't pry yourself into those old jeans, with boobs, butts and rolls falling out all over. Really, keep it away. Pick up some new clothes, you'll look even sexier.

At spin class the other day, the subject of bike shorts came up. Do you wear anything under your bike shorts. The answer from the instructor was if the short's padded, nothing goes under. My advice if you're not crazy about bike shorts, the double short is a solution, bike shorts, with an outer short attached.

Finally at lunch today, office attire came up. Tank tops, cut-offs and flip flops are not appropriate for the workplace, particularly if you work in a jail. First, practical reasons, if I'm working in a jail, I want to be able to run, which is not going to happen in flip flops. As the little sister sarcstically said, "Why not? I like to walk around with a t-shirt that says slut across my breasts when I go to the jail". People, remember where you are.

I know I seem very uptight and strict about these things (possibly prudish?) but really if we all follow these rules, the world could be a better place.