oops, she did it again

Now calm down everybody, not to worry. This is not a Britney Spears post. You may recall I declared this blog a britney-free zone ages ago. No, the she I am referring to is Sarah Hampson. Oh yes, the columnist of the Tim Horton's relationship, and the if you're 40 with no failed marriage behind you you're doomed on the modern dating scence has struck again. How many times am I going to have to give her the withering look of disapproval(tm)?

It appears Thursdays are Ms. Hampson's days to work out her being single issues and wax pathetically, not poetically on the modern dating scene. To begin with, go read her latest column "The Rules (for Women of a Certain Age)". Go on, I know you want to, it's like a car wreck, you know you shouldn't but you can't look away.

Now, maybe Ms. Hampson is trying to be ironic and poke fun at the original authors of The Rules, but if so well she missed the mark. Given her recent set of articles this all seems quite serious.

Not happy with the "single-single" label she set for single people several weeks ago, Ms. Hampson introduces a new term, the recycled singleton. Maybe this term belongs to those in the 40 and over with a failed marriage club. The fact that you are a recycled singleton indicates that you're not "single-single", but that yes you have taken Ms. Hampson's so-called leap of faith and have a failed marriage behind you. Recycled singleton is like code, sending a signal that you haven't always been single so you're more desirable than the single-single.

So what advice did Ms. Hampson receive that she felt was so important to share with her readers, how about this golden tip "Do not embrace the muu muu." Wow, that's earth shattering, who would have known. You're like a Russell Smith for women, providing valuable fashion advice. Nice to see you're not playing into cliches and stereotypes at all Ms. Hampson.

Ms. Hampson goes on to quote a certain older gentlemen who provides this nugget about dating older women:

To meet an older woman with those attributes is like sitting in a broken-in seat in a car. New leather is slippery. But a broken-in seat, well, there's nothing more comfortable and nothing more personal.

Now, I wonder if Ms. Hampson included this to drive women out of the dating scene, because who isn't going to be turned off dating if there are men like this out there. Maybe Ms. Hampson is looking to get rid of some of her competition by keeping them out of the 'pool' all together.

Other nuggets from Ms. Hampson, lost the bitterness, dating isn't therapy and don't talk too much about your kids. Don't be a drama queen. Also, you may be a powerful, successful business women, but don't be any of those when you're dating. Are we still at this level in our society? If so, then I truly do feel sad, but I find it had to believe that Ms. Hampson's singular view of the world reflects reality.

I think it's only fair that at some point there should be The Rules: For Men of A Certain Age. In my view there's only one, men of a certain age or weight should not wear a speedo, and I think we can all agree on that.

a cartoon from the siblings

The non-blood siblings from work up north forwarded on this comic to me. I think they may be trying to send a message. We of course all find it humourous given our close connection to the jail. It really is a fine line between the guards (and those of us who work with them) and the inmates.

ten questions

One of the things I most enjoyed about watching Inside the Actor's Studio was the 1o questions asked at the end of each interview. The same questions are asked of each actor and the answers range from the serious to the sublime.

The questionnaire was originally developed by a French broadcaster Bernard Pivot. I always wanted to use this questionnaire when interviewing people for jobs but unfortunately it's never been allowed or is was never really appropriate.

The questionnaire follows with my answers. The answers are supposed to be gut reaction, spur of the moment answers so I've tried my best to do that in answering the questions:

1. What is your favorite word?
Petulant

2. What is your least favorite word?
Utilize

3. What turns you on?
Confidence

4. What turns you off?
Ignorance

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The call of a loon echoing over a lake

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound a car makes when it crashes

7. What is your favorite curse word?
F*ck

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Lounge Singer

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Doctor

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"It was Adam and Steve, Eve was a typo!"

maybe 40 is not the new 20

Months ago I speculated about 40 being the new 20, but as part of its recent holy-way on singles, the Globe and Mail seems to think otherwise. Go on and read this piece, it's called "Still Single after 40? Sounds suspicous.

The basic premise of the article is that its better to have married and split then never to have married at all once you are in your 40s. That's ridiculous. I'm not sure where this whole single-bashing trend at the Globe comes from but I'm surprised.

I find it surprising that the writer so easily dismisses common-law living arrangements as not being the same as a marriage. Is not living with someone in a relationship for several years signs of an ability to commit? Just because someone doesn't believe that they need the state or a church to record their relationship doesn't mean they aren't prepared to take the leap of faith. Nope, unless you got married, and in the process likely ended up messing up your life and someone else's (I am talking about now divorced people) you're just not dating material in your 40s.

Everyone has baggage, whether its' from a failed marriage or from reasons for not having been married, I'm not sure what the difference is. Either way I imagine a relationship at that point in your life is going to be complicated regardless of your marriage background. If you've been single, you've become well adjusted to living alone and enjoy your routines, bringing another person in is just difficult. If you've been common-law or married, your dealing with possibly shared parenting, or even if there are no kids, your're trying not to make the same mistakes with your new partner as you did with your last.

We shouldn't be limiting the pool of potential daters and connections with silly rules like these. It's hard enough to meet someone you have a connection with. If you do, don't worry about their past relationships or lack thereof, focus on the one you are having. There's enough baggage to go around, you'll both have it, so check it at the door whatever it is, and start fresh.

As for Sarah Hampson, the author, she gets a withering look of disapproval(tm).

fade to black

This is a nose to the grindstone weekend to finish writing a few papers so I'll be off-line this weekend and not blogging, but will be back on Monday for a week of blogging, where I will be

• taking new aim at the Globe and Mail and their article about being 40, single and having no chance
• answering the questionnaire from the Actors' Studio
• and talking about the male counterpart of Shirley Bassey, the greatness that is Tom Jones.

Talk to you next week.

PS if you find me online on msn or facebook this weekend, yell at me to get off.

guilty pleasure #15: only in england you say, a pity

I've been a fan of John Barrowman for some time. He is the openly gay actor who stars in Doctor Who and the Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood (currently airing on CBC). I rarely get worked up about a personality, but he is a guilty pleasure for his campy performances, and admirable for living his politics.

I have to speculate that based on youTube, he has never said no to a tv appearance on any show. John's background is in musical theatre, starring in a number of West End shows. Although born in Scotland, he grew up in the United States, but his success has really only been in England.

I love the fact that despite being a relatively big star, he's not afraid to gay it up, even on national TV. Here's two clips from the music trivia show "Never Mind the Buzzcocks" which he appeared on. The first is safe for work, the second is not.





In addition to his TV success, he just released a new album last week. I'm not quite sure what to make of the new album, it's easy listening and influenced by his musical theatre past, but I'm not sure whether I'm loving the arrangements. Given my love of the Police it's no surprise I'm not 100% sold on this cover version. It was performed on the UK (and original) version of "Dancing with the Stars" called "Strictly Come Dancing".



I think one of his best musical performances was this classic from La Cage:

navel gazing

Well this is post #200 here at granted null. I'm surprised I've made it this far.

Blogging at first was very much school driven and focused on the radical change I had made to my life. Once school was done for the year and I was back up north, the blog drifted off and really hadn't made a comeback until the past week or two. I'm sure this current round of blogging is driven by procrastination, given I have a major paper and a minor paper to finish as well as three exams to prep for. Hopefully the current trend will continue past these rapidly approaching deadlines.

As for the navel gazing, I've been spending some time looking at my statcounter program to check out what's bringing people here to to the blog. Now I've lost a lot of people with all the inactivity but I'm not inviting a lot of people back until I know I'm posting consistently again. However, during this most recent spate of blogging it's been quite interesting and quite international.

Since the beginning of November, Dame Shirley Bassey has been the big drawing card. See Britney Spears, you don't have to flash your (rhymes with the capital of Saskatchewan) just to be popular on the internet. You can be classy, brassy and wise and still be a hit online!

Other searches that have brought people to the site, and boy I'm sure people have been disappointed, have been for bjorn again, pictures of Lord Denning, the suffragette movement in Saskatchewan, '40 is the new 20', and 'money can buy love' (wonder what they were looking for!).

As for some of the places, I'm big in the UK, but that's the Dame's crowd. I've also had visitors from Thailand, Belgium, Australia, Bulgaria, Netherlands, Sweden, and Italy. I've also had visitors from the following states: California, Utah, Colorado, New York, Florida, Pennsylvania, Maine, District of Columbia, Virginia, West Virginia, and New Jersey.

So whoever you are, and whether you are here on purpose or by accident, thanks for stopping in.

green and white all over

Here in Saskatchewan! everything is going green and white. Now I understand if you're mistakenly thinking I'm back talking about the green party or st. paddy's day, but no. This is about football. However, at this point I'm pretty sure Kent Austin could be elected King of the Land.

The Saskatchewan Rough Riders have made it to the Grey Cup, and it's like anything else in Saskatchewan has come to a complete halt. I must admit I'm a little baffled. First off, I live in Saskatoon, the Rough Riders play in Regina. What's the big fuss in Saskatoon about Rough Riders? Also, the lead story on every newscast is about the riders, is nothing else happened? Has the province stopped while some guys play football? I guess really it comes down to what you are used to.

I grew up in a Hockey town, and I mean a capital-H hockey town. The hockey team runs that town, even when they suck, which has been the majority of my life. Yes, there is a CFL team, a NBA team, a MLB team and a MLS team, but don't get us wrong, these other sports are okay, but they're no hockey. And the team, they represent the town, not the province.

I've come to realize in Saskatchewan, all they have is the Rough Riders. There's some minor league teams, but the Riders are really the only game in town, no strike that, the only game in the province. I guess that's why Saskatoon/Regina rivalries disappear when it comes to the Riders, well except for maybe which city has the better fans. I guess the Riders are bred into the people here, like hockey was bred into me.

So although I wrap myself in the blue and white forever, I guess this week I'm donning the green and white, at least for a little while.

and the money kept rolling in

Well, my first loan through Kiva has been repaid. Although Natik, the cattle turned sheep breeder in Azerbaijan has received most of the attention, it was in fact the fuel seller in Afghanistan who was the first to repay his loan fully. Although I wasn't getting updates on how the business was doing, payments were being made regularly.

Once a loan is paid, you can withdraw it, donate it to Kiva to help cover operating expenses or reinvest, so it's back into the world of high finance for me. I'm switching continents this time, and heading to Africa, specifically Nigeria. I know the online scams usually start in Nigeria, but so far Kiva and their partners have been dead on, so I'm giving it a shot.

This is Gbemisola Adeshkor:


Gbemisola Adeshokor is 48 years old, married, and has 6 children. She hails from Ibgolerin, in Lagos State, Nigera. Gbemisola sells foods in her local market to support her family, and has been doing so since 1992. Gbemisola would like a loan of $400 to purchase a wider variety of foods to sell.

As of the time I write this blog, Gbemisola is only 56% funded for her $400 so there's still time to jump in if you want to give Kiva a try.

enough with the double-doubles

Okay, this latest Globe and Mail story has me not knowing what to think. Go read it.

At times I want to laugh because it seems silly and sad, but other times it has me seething and shooting the withering look of disapproval(tm) at society for its focus on coupling and the need to label everything.

First the seething: Our society has this constant need to label everyone and everything into little boxes to make it easier for someone else. People who choose or are forced to live outside the little labels just get ostracized, or crammed into some little box where people will judge them.

We have labels for careers, sexuality, relationship status, moods, hobbies, everything. You can't escape them, and for a lot of the time I can't even keep how I'm labeled straight, (no pun intended) let alone anyone else. The worst part is, I know I label other people, either for ease or out of expectations, but I do it.

Now, you can't just be single, you're single-single. Yes, the hordes of coupledom are once again foricing people's singleness down their own throats. Why are we forcing people to label the kind of relationships that they have? Each person's relationship is different, but we keep wanting to force it into little categories or labels.

Now laughter: I find this need to distinguish between different types of singles silly, and almost pathetic. For some reason certain people who choose to live alone need some sort of label to try to fit themselves in the 'couples' club. It's like they are saying: "It's okay, you can talk to me, I'm not single, I'm single-double, somebody loves me; we don't live together, but I'm not like those other ones!"

I can't be the only one finding this laughable. As the article points out, our relationships are beginning to sound like Tim Horton's orders, not mature aspects of our lives.

I think it's great when someone does find someone that they can have a relationship with, but I also respect those people who may choose to remain single. Most of all, we should show some respect to those people who are single, but would rather be in a relationship.

These labels will only make it worse for them, "Oh, you're single-single? How sad, just haven't met the right person yet." Nothing like reinforcing their single status by saying it twice.

As for my label, I'm not going to be drawn into that game.

is that like the swinger's case?

I was chatting online with the little sister (my non-biological sibling) and she mentioned a blog swap. My first reaction was thinking it was like the wife swapping swinger's case the Supreme Court of Canada, but then I realized I have just been thinking of law school way too much.

A fellow blogger organized the blog swap. Bloggers would write a post for someone else's blog anonymously and it had to be confessional in nature. No one would know who wrote what.

It's a neat idea and another example of how interesting links and relationships form online.

For information on the blog swap or to ready the entries head over to the little sister's blog.

nine to five, what a way to make a living

I have been described, and it appears have described myself as a type-A person. You know what I mean; intense, competitive and ambitious. But it appears when it comes to genetics, sleep and work style I'm firmly in the type-B camp.

According to this article from the Globe and Mail, there is a growing movement to recognize the differences between early- and late-risers. Some people it appears, are genetically different and are night owls.

When I was employed as a spin doctor and lobbyist to make the world a better place for lawyers (and people wonder how I ended up in law school), this was completely the case. I've always tended to be a night owl and this was one place that could accommodate my tendencies. Thankfully our member lawyers preferred to meet at night, outside of their normal billable hours. I immediately seized on all these late night meetings as an excuse to come in late each day.

Unfortunately, I was not able to wander in at 11 am each day, but generally my bosses and I had an agreement. I would not be in the office at 8:30 am when the rest of the staff would all be in place, but I would always be there by 9:30 am. In return they knew I would be there to six or seven at night, and later if we had an evening meeting.

I thrived in that environment. In particular I enjoyed that last hour of the day between six and seven when I would be one of the only ones in the office. It was quiet, I had time to think, the phone wouldn't ring and I could organize myself for the next day. Some of my best writing and ideas would happen in these late-night hours. In return for some flexibility on start times, my employer received the benefit of better work.

One day, I hope to work for myself where I can control my hours, and if I need to write memos at nine at night, I'll be free to do it.

mr. big stuff, who do you think you are?

I was at the grocery store today picking up a few items and one of my biggest pet peeves happened again. No, it wasn't someone who was surprised at the idea they have to pay; it was a person who insisted on shopping from the check-out line.

Now, when I say shopping from the check-out line, I don't mean this person was humming and hawing over which magazine or candy to buy in the tantrum inducing parent trap that is the check-out display. I mean this person had their basket of goods on the conveyor belt but was proceeding to run around the store and pick up those items she so "conveniently forgot". Seriously, who forgets to grab hot dog buns when you've picked up hot dogs?

If it was one item, maybe I'd be prepared to cut a person some slack, but when you're going up and down aisles, come on! Proper shopping etiquette means lifting your basket off the conveyor belt, putting it aside, giving a little wave to the next person in line, and THEN dashing madly around the store to get your items.

This grocery store is not a large one, and is never overly busy so it's not like a spot near the front of the check-out line is a precious commodity. Particularly in this case where all the woman's items were still in a basket, there was no reason to hold a spot.

I can understand if you have all your items laid out on the conveyor; but even in that case at least acknowledge the inconvenience you are causing to the people behind you. A knowing look, a 'slap-stick style' hand to the head pronouncing what you've forgotten will garner some good will, or at least neutral feelings. Do you think I like whipping out my 'withering look of disapproval'(tm)?

Maybe I'll follow in the footsteps of Mr. Smith and pen a book on etiquette for the modern man and woman: how to navigate your way through society without invoking the withering look of disapproval(tm) from those of us in the know.

free rice

Although not as exciting a headline as free drugs, I still hope that I can draw your attention to Freerice.com.

This web site is a sister site to Poverty.com and has two main goals.

1. Provide English vocabulary to everyone for free.
2. Help end world hunger by providing rice to hungry people for free.

The site gives you a word, and four possible meanings. For each right answer advertisers on the site will purchase 10 grains of rice to be distributed through the United Nations Food Program. Just a few minutes of play can really add up the grains of rice.

Plus the more you play the more you learn. The vocabulary level goes up and down based on the number of correct or incorrect answers. If you get one wrong, keep playing as your rice total will contine to go up.

a time to remember

gulity pleasure 14: there's nothing like a dame

It's been a long time since I've delved into the world of my guilty pleasures so I figured it was time. I know many of you are fearful of my indulgences in britpop, but this one is a more classic take on britpop - Dame Shirley Bassey.

I don't think any other singer is more frequently associated with James Bond, then Dame Bassey. She is the only singer to have recorded more than one James Bond theme song, having done sung the themese to Goldfinger, Diamonds are Forever, and Moonraker.

I'm a big fan of cover versions as it's always interesting to see what another artist does with a song. I'm also a fan of Dames, not just members of the Order of the British Empire, but those brassy, big-voiced female singers who can own a song with their voice and stylings. In either definition, Dame Shirley Bassey fits the bill.

This cover version has a nice lounge, James Bond vibe fitting Bassey's signature style.

waiting for angelina...

Well, this first term of second year here at the little law school on the prairie has certainly been an interesting one. The law students have practically been refugees, between the crazy housing market and the absence of a law school, we've been bouncing from one refugee camp (Kirk Hall) to another (Albert Community Centre). At this point, the highlight is an expected visit from Angelina Jolie. Isn't she due for another tour of refugee camps, and another possible adoption (just think I could call Brad Pitt "daddy").

This term, we have been refugees on the main campus. I have classes in five different buildings across campus, when they are back to back it's particularly challenging to make it. Classes, normally taught in two 90 minute groups are now being taught in one hour blocks three times a week in whatever available space we could eke it.

The reason we're refugees is the construction of the new home of the LLSOP. Originally promised for September, then October, and then November things we're finally looking up for a home of our own. Just as they were slowly letting us into the new building, the university support staff went on strike.

Naturally being Saskatchewan, there is a lot of support for unions (despite this week's election results) and many of our professors and some students didn't want to have to cross a picket line. Now, it's important to note CUPE did not ask us not to cross, but faster than Angelina adopts a child, we were refugees once more.

Teased with only a small taste of our new home, we were forced off campus to the Albert Community Centre. Now, true we are back to being in one building, but the building is shared with several dance schools, the pottery guild and all sorts of arts classes. It's interesting to walk around and see signs like "no tap shoes in the hallway". Being in classrooms with ballet bars and walls of mirrors can be quite distracting (and yes I can still get my leg up that high).

We're being told that we're benefiting from the exposure to real life that this gives us, but that's fine for the young kids who have never been out of school. However, the school forgets many of us have already been in the real world, know what it's like, and went back to school to get away from it for a while.

first, a jump to the left, then a step to the right

Well, the election results are in and what was once the great socialist state of Saskatchewan, is now conservative country.

Putting my dramatic introduction aside, the results of the Saskatchewan election probably aren't very surprising or particularly important. Despite fear-mongering and concern over the Sask Party's conservative roots, this was not a major shift in Saskatchewan.

Almost 17 years ago, Saskatchewan took a step to the left, electing an NDP majority and defeating a scandal-ridden conservative government. Recognizing that they could not get past their scandalous past, several conservative MLAs and some Liberals MLAs formed the right-wing Saskatchewan Party. Despite their best efforts, the NDP continued to be elected as government (albeit with small majorities and one minority).

After several defeats, and the election of a new leader roughly four years ago, the Sask Party did what all right-wing parties need to do to get elected; they ran to the centre.

In fact, the result of this election, is simply a small step to the right. Brad Wall, our new Premier will be well served to remember that he ran in the centre and he needs to govern from the centre. A quick return to the party's right-wing conservative roots will simply result in a defeat in four years.

What is interesting in this election, is that the NDP which has governed from the centre for the last several years, were pushed out of the centre by the Sask Party during the campaign. In the first few days of the campaign, the NDP took a bold jump to the left with a universal drug plan promise, that some say cost them the election.

I think it just goes to show you, that despite labels of right and left, the majority of Canadians want a government that sits squarely in the mushy middle.

he-man goes butch...

Some of you may remember this earlier post full of rampant speculation about He-Man. The youtube video took the butch out of He-man and injected a full load of camp.

Well it appears times are changing, and one of He-man's more influential fans has it in his mind to butch He-man back up through a feature film. Comic book writer and filmmaker Kaare Andrews wants to do a He-man feature film. He is so committed that he has produced a teaser video to pitch the film. The full story and video can be found here.